Feedback on the first homework assignment

Thank you for all turning in your first written assignment. While I enjoyed reading all of your work, some of you were not clear about what I was asking for. Because we're still getting to know each other, I would like you each to take a second chance to make a good first written impression. This entry should clarify what you should do for this assignment.

You were first supposed to read over the Introduction to my web site (the section we previewed in class the first day) for 20 minutes, and then write two paragraphs about what you read.

The purpose of the first paragraph of the assignment was to show me evidence that you had in fact read the whole Introduction to my web site and explored at least a few of the links there. My idea was that you would describe what you found most interesting. I also wanted you to tell me WHY you were interested in each of the topics or ideas that you mentioned. As I think about it more, you might need two paragraphs to do that part of the assignment. That's okay.

The purpose of the final paragraph was to see what topic(s) might be of interest to you this year in World History so that I can tailor the course accordingly. Some of you had some good ideas and we'll talk about them. Some of you didn't do this second part of the assignment, and I'd like you to make sure you do that second part for the re-write.

I should have been more explicit that I was looking for evidence that you read the text of the Introduction and that you followed a few links -- say two or three of them -- to get more information. Some of you wrote that you found the web site "very interesting" and "informative" but you did not provide me with any supporting details. Someone could write "your web site is really interesting and I look forward to studying history with you this year" without ever visiting my web site. To reiterate, you should describe two or three of the things that interested you in the Introduction, and then explain why you found those ideas/topics interesting.

I think there may have been some confusion about whether you were supposed to write about the introduction to me (that is actually the "Who is Mr. G?" link, as opposed to the Introduction link) or the Introduction to the web page. You were supposed to write about the page -- not about me or about what we did in class.

In terms of tone, a number of you wrote such sentences as "Mr. Goldberg's web site was..." Whenever you write, consider your audience. For this assignment, your audience is me, and this is more of a personal communication between you and me, so you can just start with "On your web site, I enjoyed seeing [whatever you enjoyed seeing -- and WHY]." For example, you might have enjoyed seeing the video that shows how world religions spread all over the globe in 90 seconds. And perhaps that video made you wonder about Buddhism and how Buddhism started.

Finally, grammar and spelling seemed to be a challenge for some of you (a few of you even spelled my name wrong -- I'm Mr. Goldberg, not Mr. Goldburg). Be sure that you take the time to proofread your writing for grammar and spelling. For an assignment this short, it's not a bad idea to read your writing out loud to help catch any grammar mistakes.

I have made a few comments on your papers, but I would like you each to revise and re-submit them, now that you have a clearer idea of what I am asking you to do. If you have any questions, please ASK. If you need more than one paragraph to provide enough evidence that you read and thought about several parts of the Introduction, that's okay.

Please re-submit a hard copy of your assignment in class on Friday (in proper format -- i.e., 12-point Times Roman font) and I will only grade the revised assignment.

Also, please make a folder on your computer called "WH Portfolio" and save an electronic copy of both drafts of your paper in that folder. I'd like you to keep a copy of each piece of work you submit over the course of the year, so that we can track your progress.